Breezy Mama

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maddie james foundation

It’s Time! The Maddie James Seaside Learning Center is Here!

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The Ota Family at the 2nd Annual Mile for Maddie walk
The Ota Family at the 2nd Annual Mile for Maddie

It’s been two years since 5-year-old Maddie James captured the hearts of the nation with her love of the ocean and the animals living in it. For those of you who have been long time Breezy readers, you’ll remember how Maddie’s life tragically ended when an inoperable tumor was found. As soon as she heard the devastating news, her mother, Kajsa, knew that she wanted Maddie’s legacy to live on with Dana Point’s the Ocean Institute. Kajsa was determined to have their new building, the Seaside Learning Center, be named after her little girl; she just needed one million dollars to make that dream a reality. The dream became the community’s dream, and then spread. . . to town after town, into various states, and then nation was caught up in the love of Maddie James. In three short months, one million dollars was raised, and the Maddie James Seaside Learning Center became a reality.

On May 18, 2013, the Maddie James Seaside Learning Center will be [Read more…] about It’s Time! The Maddie James Seaside Learning Center is Here!

Two mothers. Two daughters. One love.

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Lene' (left) and Kajsa celebrate after the million dollar mark was reached at The Maddie James Foundation's Reaching for the Sea Stars Gala.

The past eight months have been somewhat of a blur for Kajsa James, mother of Maddie, who was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor in January and passed away eight weeks later in March of this year.  Between processing her daughter’s sudden and fatal diagnosis, and co-founding the Maddie James Foundation, which raised $1 million dollars in less than three months to secure the naming rights to the soon-to-be built Maddie James Seaside Learning Center at the Ocean Institute in Dana Point, CA, certain things have gotten lost in the chaos.  Other memories are crystal clear.

[Read more…] about Two mothers. Two daughters. One love.

Maddie James: A Little Girl Who Captivated a Nation

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The big night is here. Photo by JeffreyFriend.com.

This past Friday, at the Reaching for the Sea Stars Gala, The Maddie James Foundation realized their goal of raising one million dollars for the naming rights to the new Seaside Learning Center at the Ocean Institute in Dana Point. We watched the sea turtle fill up as the night progressed, and as it turned a complete silk aqua; I couldn’t help but reflect on the past few months.

As those of you who have been following Maddie’s story know, the five-year-old was diagnosed with an inoperable tumor called Diffuse Intrinsic Pontine Glioma (DIPG) on January 16, 2011 and given 6 months to live. Her short life ended eight weeks later. [Read more…] about Maddie James: A Little Girl Who Captivated a Nation

Madeleine Reese James: June 11, 2005 – March 13, 2011

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For eight weeks I never put my phone down. For eight weeks I kept the phone by my bed as I slept. And then, exactly on that eighth week, I got the call. Kajsa’s name popped up on the screen. Since we had been communicating purely through texts and emails, I knew this was it. I took a deep breath and answered the phone, “Hello?” “Hi, it’s me. Maddie passed this evening.” “Oh Kajsa . . .” and the tears just flowed down my cheeks.

The week prior, Maddie had a rough day. It was a Friday, and she was experiencing full body seizures. Our dear, dear friend, Alison, was there as it happened. The hospice nurse explained to Alison what was going in layman’s terms–essentially, Maddie’s brain was shutting down, but her body wasn’t ready to, so her body was trying to jolt the brain awake with the seizures. Thankfully, these seizures never caused any pain, and the hospice nurse was finally able to get the right dosage of medications to calm Maddie down, and she drifted into a peaceful state. They didn’t know if she’d [Read more…] about Madeleine Reese James: June 11, 2005 – March 13, 2011

Explaining Death to Children

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Kieran and I created this burial site for Coco the Goldfish.

This past November, Coco the Goldfish passed away after five long years of living in the Ota household. I got Coco in January of 2005 as “decoration” for an open house that we had at work. (It was an Asian theme, and we placed goldfish in bowls all around the office.) Everyone kept one, and eventually, each fish had died, except Coco. When I left, Coco came with me (after being babysat by Jaime while I was on maternity leave), and had been a part of our life ever since. Let me explain that further–for my five year old son Kieran, Coco had been there his entire life. Which brings me back to the beginning–Coco died in November and my husband and I were not prepared for the grief that Kieran felt. Endless crying, constantly asking questions about what happened to Coco now, telling everyone he encountered that Coco died–the guy was clearly affected. Today, he’s okay. However, if Kieran experienced this type of grief with his fish, I am afraid to see what will happen when his good friend Maddie will no longer be with us. This time, I want to be prepared in explaining what happened. So, Breezy Mama went to expert Russell P. Friedman, Executive Director of The Grief Recovery Institute Educational Foundation, Inc. and co-author of THE GRIEF RECOVERY HANDBOOK for help on how to explain death to children.

From Russell P. Friedman:

We [The Grief Recovery Institute Educational Foundation, Inc.] are co-authors of When Children Grieve, which bears the sub-title, “For Adults to Help Children deal with Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving and Other Losses.” It is not actually a book for children, but for anyone who has a custodial relationship with children.

As a generality, children fall into three broad categories when it comes to dealing with death. Up until age 5,  or  6, and in some cases slightly older, most children [Read more…] about Explaining Death to Children