Search Results for: fran walfish

Taming the Tyrant – Your Three-Year-Old

The three-year-old development. . .  A wonderful stage where life is getting easier with your little one–they are now able to handle more responsibility, are going off to preschool and you may find yourself having more fun since they can participate in more “grown-up” activities. But, with this greatness comes a need for expressing their opinion (which many times differs from yours) and a want to do everything on their own, their way. Handling a three year old can takes a lot of patience and goodwill, so Breezy Mama turned to Dr. Fran Walfish for advice on overcoming the hardest behaviors. . .

Why are the “two’s” considered “terrible” when it’s really the three’s that are gnarly?

THE “TERRIBLE TWO’S” SEEM TO HAVE BECOME THE “TERRIBLE THREE’S” FOR THE FOLLOWING REASON.  ORIGINALLY, RESEARCHERS BELIEVED THAT THE RAPPROCHEMENT PHASE OF DEVELOPMENT OCCURS FROM 18 MONTHS- 3 YEARS.  IN MY LARGE PRIVATE PRACTICE WHERE I HAVE TREATED THOUSANDS OF YOUNG TODDLERS, I OBSERVE THAT THIS PHASE OF DEVELOPMENT RESOLVES CLOSER TO AGE 4 YEARS.  THAT IMPLIES THAT WHAT WE USED TO SEE IN TODDLERS AROUND AGE 2 IS NOW BEING OBSERVED AT AGE 3 YEARS.  THESE BEHAVIORS INCLUDE AN INCREASE IN OPPOSITION, DEFIANCE, AND CLAIMING ONESELF AS A SEPARATE BEING FROM MOMMY AND DADDY.  THIS MAY INCLUDE TEMPER TANTRUMS, HITTING, DELAYS FOLLOWING COMMANDS, AND GENERALLY REQUIRING MORE TEACHABLE MOMENTS.  THIS PHASE INVOLVES THE RHYTHMIC [Read more…]

Top 10 Books on Discipline

If you have a child who doesn’t listen or misbehaves I have news for you: your kid is developing normally! But just how should you handle it so you can raise a person not only you can enjoy, but the rest of society, too? Breezy Mama turned to three of our favorite experts, Hanna Fenichel Parent Educator Patti Aretz, Susie Walton – Indigo Village founder and author of Key to Personal Freedom: How Myths Affect Our Family Lives – and Dr. Fran Walfish – author of The Self-Aware Parent — to get their picks and bring you the Top 10 Books on Discipline.

10. Easy To Love, Difficult To Discipline
By Becky Bailey, Ph.D. (Discipline)
Frustrated because your kid won’t get in her car seat? Grumpy ever since your son decided that cleaning his room was optional? Ever feel bad after screaming at your kids for these and [Read more…]

Why You May Be Doing More Harm Than Good For Your Shy Child

Shy children–whether it’s at the park, a birthday party, or school drop-off, we’ve all seen a kiddo hanging on to his mother’s leg for dear life, not wanting to let go. We’ve also seen the frustration on the mother’s face, knowing that her child will have a fantastic time if he only let himself go. Parenting a shy child and bringing them out of their shell can be difficult, and hard to know the “right” way to do it. So, Breezy Mama asked several mothers of shy kids what advice they needed to know in order to help their child open up, and then we turned to our favorite Go-To family psychotherapist, Dr. Frances Walfish, Psy.D. for the answers. Whether you’re having trouble saying good-bye at the classroom or wanting to know how to bring your child into a group, we’ve got solution for you.

First off, I’ve read that we never call our children “shy” so that they can hear. Why is this so important?

Most shy children are terribly uncomfortable being under a microscope or in the spotlight.  They do not like having their pictures taken, being observed, or feeling categorically labeled.  If you call your child “shy”, the risk is that they may [Read more…]

Stop the Madness: Breaking the Lovey, Thumb Sucking, Pacifier Habit

I am the mother of two kids: a four year-old who sucks his fingers and twirls my hair (his own when I’m not around) and a 21 month-old who has a blanket that isn’t more than a foot away from her at all times. My son has been sucking his fingers since he was two weeks old–I kid you not. And, the habit never really bothered me–until things like the swine flu hits or, the fact that he’s getting closer to kindergarten. As for my daughter, that blanket has been a lifesaver in too many different ways, but I am dreading the day when I tell her it can’t come out of her room. So, how does a parent stop these habits? What may seem like a hopeless and daunting task, CAN be done. Breezy Mama turns to Dr. Frances Walfish, Psy.D. for some help.

It seems to me as if children hang on to five things: a bottle, a pacifier, finger/thumb sucking, hair twirling and a lovey. Should all be stopped?

Eventually all of these habits should be stopped.  And they will.  Let’s first begin by understanding why these things are helpful and good.  They are all Transitional Objects (T.O.).  T.O.’s are encouraged with [Read more…]

Toddler Hitting: What to do About It

Ahhhh, toddlers. Such cute things that seem to do no wrong. . . until they burst into a temper tantrum at 100 MPH and start hitting you like there’s no tomorrow. That–not so cute. So, what can you do about it? How do you teach a little person who can barely express what they’re thinking to not hit–whether they’re hitting for fun or because they’re mad? Breezy Mama turned to child expert Frances Walfish, Pys. D. for some answers. . .

Note: Keep in mind that these answers pertain to children 1 – 3 years of age.

Let’s start with the basics–why do toddlers hit?

Toddlers hit for a number of different reasons.  They include: [Read more…]