Time outs became the new spanking; And now time outs are as dated as MySpace. Here’s my deal – if time outs don’t work and spanking is for cavemen, then how in the world do we get the kids to listen? Luckily, Amy McCready – who has been featured on the Today Show for her fab parenting advice and founder of Positive Parenting Solutions – gives Breezy Mama 10 proven alternatives.
Your child misbehaves. What do you do? For many parents, “Time Out” is the go-to strategy. It’s the “one size fits all” strategy for most misbehaviors – big and small.
When I ask parents how well “Time Out” works for them, I often hear: “It doesn’t work” or “It works GREAT! I use it every day!” I have to keep from laughing when I hear this because the truth is, if you have to use it almost every day…it’s really not working!
Breezy Mama and Positive Parenting Solutions are teaming up to teach you why “Time Out is a Waste of Time” and what you can do instead. More on that later!
For now, here are 10 Things You Can Do Instead of “Time Out” the next time your kids misbehave…
1. Give a Giant Hug – Do the unexpected! When your child misbehaves he’s waiting for the hammer, instead, do just the opposite of what he expects. He’ll be thrown completely off-guard!
2. Walk Away – “But I can’t let her get away with that!” You’re not “letting her get away with it.” You’re just choosing to NOT engage in the power struggle by walking away. You’ll deal with the behavior later when everyone (including you!) is calm.
3. Take a Deep Breath – This can do wonders for the mind and body. Sometimes after a deep breath, the infraction doesn’t seem like such a big deal after all.
4. Whisper - Kids expect parents to lecture, reprimand or yell. Instead…WHISPER – it will get their attention!
5. Do something silly! Again, do the unexpected! Instead of “laying down the law” do something silly and totally unexpected. You’ll diffuse the power struggle so you can focus on solutions calmly with respect.
6. Think about WHY the child is behaving that way. Focus on “the WHY,” not the behavior. That helps you target the root cause of the misbehavior, not the symptom.
7. Consider YOUR role in the misbehavior. Did you invite the power struggle with your tone of voice?
8. Encourage! “You are really growing up and I know you’ll make a better choice next time.”
9. Divert attention to something else. Instead of jumping to Time Out – get the child involved in a more productive activity.
10. Ignore the Behavior. Drawing attention to the misbehavior actually causes it to continue and even escalate. (The child gets an “attention or power fix”) Instead, ignore the behavior when it makes sense.
Bonus! Join Breezy Mama and Positive Parenting Solutions for the “Why Time Out is a Waste of Time” free (yes, free!!!) webinar on Tuesday March 9th, 2010! We’ll be challenging popular parenting strategies such as Time Out, Counting 1-2-3 and Rewards. You’ll learn why they actually escalate behavior and what you can do instead. To sign up to get your log-in information to join us for free, Click here!
Yep! Breezy Mama has some learning to do! This FREE webinar is only one hour — grab a glass of wine or some hot coco (and your husband, too, if you want!) and sit back anonymously in front of your computer or type in questions you have as we go along! To learn more about the free live webinar and to RSVP: Click here!
Parenting coach Amy McCready is the Founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Her successful online course empowers parents of toddlers through teens with the skills to correct misbehaviors permanently without nagging, reminding or yelling. You can learn more at www.PositiveParentingSolutions.com.